Pit Bulls

Nevada
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Answers

My Opinion: Pit Bulls & Penis Size

There’s an inverse relationship between the number of Pit Bulls a person owns and the size of their penis. Notice that I say person, not man, owns. That’s because more and more women are Pit Bull owners. For them, the inverse relationship is between the number of Pit Bulls they own and the size of their imaginary penis.

Undoubtedly, some people reading this are Pit Bull owners. I’m sorry that you were born to conform to the norm. It seems everyone owns a Pit Bull. Way to be original and creative there buddy. I bet you’ve also sported a goat-tee, have a skull tattoo somewhere on your body, and have those retarded spinning rims on your car. I know that I’m right, aren’t I? Oh please don’t even tell me you are one of those mental pygmies who combine them all with a backwards baseball cap. What are you, twelve? Here’s an idea. How about you actually DO or BUY something original.

Owning a Pit Bull does not make you an instant tough-guy. In fact, it shows your own fragile, wanting-to-be-loved-and-accepted, and conform-to-the-norm ego. Let me ask you this. Now that you own one, two, maybe even three Pit Bulls, has your penis grown? Measure it. I’m a scientist. I want to know if the act of buying a Pit Bull actually enhances that “special appendage” of the male anatomy. The biochemistry of such a discovery would be fascinating to study.

And for the women Pit Bull owners reading this ... buy pepper spray instead. Okay? You look retarded being pulled around the neighborhood by that Neanderthal version of a canine. You can’t even hold the leash properly. I’ve seen you, countless times. Your Pit Bull gets a whiff of a cat or sees a small poodle (or child playing) and he drags you kicking and screaming down the block. Meditate woman. Get in touch with your inner self. Then maybe you can reincarnate next time with a penis. Until then, drop the macho she-man act. It doesn’t work for guys. And it certainly doesn’t work for you.

Some overlooked aspects of owning a Pit Bull:

Pit Bulls only make up 2-5% of the dog population, but are responsible from between 1/3 to more than 1/2 of all fatal dog attacks in the U.S. (the number varies year-to-year). They died for your small-penis complex.

Pit Bulls instinctively go for the throat & face. Survivors (usually children) are often disfigured for life. Thousands of children will go through life as freaks & outcasts because of your small-penis complex.