Copyright ©All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms of Use
My Opinion: Truck Testicles
Uggghhhh. Where do I begin?
You’ve seen them. Those retarded truck testicles dangling from the trailer hitch of some fucktard’s Chevy or Dodge pickup.
I really don’t know what to say. I’m not a prude. Far from it. In fact, I truly believe in the original Constitutional Republic left to us by our Founding Fathers. I think Big Government needs to get the hell out of people’s business.
Marijuana: Legalise it & tax it.
Legal Brothels: Who cares? Legalise it & tax the revenue generated.
Gay Marriage: Keep it in the closet. It’s not government’s business.
But truck testicles, in my opinion, are not protected by free speech. This is public indecency. You or I could not go down the street without pants. Why should a truck be allowed to dangle plastic testicles in front of children?
Yes, we all know the type of guy who puts this on his truck.
I say this sincerely & from the heart:
I’m sorry you were born with such a small twig & berries. You were short-changed weren’t you? Better luck next incarnation. God still loves you, even though you have really small bean bags.
But don’t try to elevate your self esteem by dangling artificial love spuds in front of me on the freeway! Here’s a toy you might enjoy. Give it to your kid on their birthday instead of a Mr. Potato Head. It certainly fits your douche bag personality:
Oh, and I found the perfect barber for you. He understands what it means to truly be a dick-head, like you. You’ll love his work. It will really turn heads as you cruise down to In-n-out-urge with your best gal riding in your oh-so-stylish fucktard mobile with composite-resin hairy danglers. And don’t forget to blast the “old school” 2-Live-Crew “Me So Horny” as you pull into the parking lot.
Hey, why stop there? Show her you are a seriously romantic douche bag. Let her see your real set of Chuckle Berries in the privacy of your fucktard pad. But to get her in the mood don’t forget to put on a little Barry White. Then add a few glasses of Crystal and she’s all yours. Oh, don’t forget that sexy lounging attire to really turn her on.
Now you’ve reached the critical point of your evening. Your pebble-sized sweetmeats have her vulnerable. Don’t stop now! Pull out all your Giggle Nugget talent. But don’t forget to wear protection.
And remember, the next time anyone like me asks you why you hang fake love spuds off your truck, just tell them what you tell everyone else.
What’s next, dildo hood ornaments?
This is public obscenity. Really it is and you know it. Not only is it obscene, it’s retarded as well.
Ah, to be trapped on a planet full of retarded half-wits, douchebags, fucktards, & dickheads.
Thanks Jesus. I owe you one buddy.
Oh, and remember to vote for me in the fall.
